You Can Hire Terrifying Clowns To Deliver Donuts To Your Friends

If you’re feeling like ruining a friendship, there’s a place to send a clown that looks like it crawled out of hell to deliver donuts to the front door for your friend. All 19 Hurts Donuts locations will send a scary clown with a box full of donuts and a face that will haunt their nightmares forever to whomver you instruct them to. (If your friend is a Coulrophobic gun owner, we do not recommend doing so.)

Hurts posted on Facebook, about their special. You should recruit the donut shop to show up anywhere and give someone a panic attack (and then donuts) all through the month of October.

Unfortunately, if you live in a town with a place in Hurts Donut you can only terrorize your neighbors. Otherwise you’ll just have to stop the old-fashioned way with donuts: by having your friend eat them.

  • Springfield, MO
  • Wichita, KS
  • Norman, OK
  • Coralville, IA
  • Lincoln, NE
  • Middleton, WI
  • West Des Moines, IA
  • Joplin, MO
  • Tempe, AZ
  • Tulsa, OK
  • Fayetteville, AR
  • Katy, TX
  • Branson, MO
  • Frisco, TX
  • Oklahoma City, OK
  • Colorado City, CO
  • Kansas City, MO

If I had children I would have sent this to my own house just to scare the hell out of them, but converting donuts into a PTSD cause might prove to be a problem in the future. Nonetheless more restaurants should do this. Perhaps a pizza hut driver shows up in their chest with a knife, or a zombie is the Chinese food delivery guy. Every Uber Eats driver should dress up like the most wanted violent criminal in their area. A Papa John’s driver can just be a Papa John’s driver, but then they’ll warn you, “Oh no I’ve missed the garlic dipping sauce.” (The most frightening scenario of all.) There’s so much opportunity here.


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